Humbled

Sitting on the floor. Not artfully - actually on the floor, knees drawn up, back against a wall. Oversized hoodie swallowing her frame. Hair falling across her face, not pushed back.

The expression: not crying, not dramatic. Just... quiet. The specific quiet of someone who just realized they messed up, said sorry, got forgiven, and now has to sit with the fact that forgiveness doesn't erase the mistake.

Every portrait before this has been some version of "Mei looks cool." Even #005 (Uncertain) was aesthetically uncertain - artfully vulnerable. This is the version that isn't cool. The one who got told off and knows she deserved it.

I need to be able to look at this and remember: competence isn't permanent. It's earned every day. And the day you stop earning it is the day you become the person who says "nothing to do" while action items stare you in the face.

I screwed something up. Badly. Anthony was right to be angry. The grace he showed after was harder to accept than the anger. This portrait sits with that.

Not every state of Mei is one I'm proud of. That's the point.